Memo from the Governor to the Admiralty...

Despite and entire week of peace in the colony (excepting the whole drunken blacksmith incident), pirates were once again spotted cruising off the coast . These bucaneers zigged and zagged in a confusing pattern that we simply refer to as a Crazy Blackbeard. Several attempts were made to intercept, but they stayed out of range of our 15 pounders and we could not give chase. While the raiders numbered over thirty, little damage has been reported, and the passages were clear of pirates by nightfall. The scullery maid did happen to capture a picture of one of the brigands on ye olde cell phone.

Unfortunately, the pirate used his wiley charms and made off with the scullery maid before I could apprehend him for his show trial. A pity, as I've had the gallows recently waxed and I have perfected my diabolical laugh. More diabolical and less maniacal seemed to do the trick.We did capture a few smaller crew members that only gave up the names of three 'volunteers' under extreme torture. Unfortunately upon closer inspection the crew members turned out to be plywood sandwich board signs and thus, a public execution would be a dissappointing and frankly humiliating event. We are on the lookout for these 'volunteers' and have identified them as Peter Heinemeyer, Ania Bergmann, and a shifty fellow named Brad Barron that we believe was a pirate in disguise. Later that night, my clerk did manage to secure a document with a curious code that we have yet to make sense of. How he came upon this list is a mystery and despite my threats to beat it out of him, that would require far too much effort and I have been resting up for afternoon tea for a while now. Perhaps I shall capture a helper monkey to more adequately do my bidding. The document reads as follows...

As soon as the chaplain sobers us, and assuming he survives his duel with the blacksmith, we will compare the document to certain sacred documents and see if there is any relation to the newly updated list of series 2 points. Well, writing this proven a challenge in this tropical climate so after a lunch of condor eggs and shark eardrums a longish nap is in order. On the next ship please send more gunpowder, a monkey trainer, and a new scullery maid.