Monday, June 27, 2011

Yarrrr....'twas lookin' at me calendar....

...and realized we're just 81 days away from International Talk Like a Pirate Day. And really, when is it not fun to talk like a pirate. Well, aside from funerals, job interviews, and the witness stand. Tis a curse for sure and I'll never be asked to tesitfy again. So you ask, what's up. Why the pirate schtick. Was this lubber once a seafarin' seaman? Was he visited by a mysterious green vaporous klaubautermann (I know you're googling it, remember the second n) while out in his van with his blond pal, a couple of girls, and his semi-literate faithful great dane? Or was it his scouting trip for the race where the recent Springbank housing boom of the noveau riche where giant houses as bland as Tom Bosley have been erected at an astonishing rate. The question then is then ... Ponzi or Pirate? I guess with the oil industry it's a little bit of both.
So I present the 2011 Ponzi Pirate Raiding Party Individual Full on Springbank TT. Real Pirates don't like rules, so there are none, just the Pirate code as it applies to TT racing. Full on TT gear welcome, flags optional but encouraged. Most pirates don't wear a watch, but this one does and we'll start right around 6:30ish.

Our route will take us south from the Springbank Meeting spot to towards the treacherous speed bumps of Mountain River Estates where we'll reverse course and head North back to the safety of the pirate's cove (meeting spot). A quick right on Springbank Road up to the Chicken Ranch where we'll head yet again south on range road 32 towards the end of the world (road). At the circle, come about again and set course for Lower Springbank Road where you'll turn to starboard (right) yet again and make for Range Road 31. One last foray south on 31 where we'll turn around again, deep in the heart of the empire, and flee to safety and the finish north along 31.
Tis a twisty and perilous route (actually it's fairly straight and simple but peril sounds cool and piratical) so I could be using some mateys to help point the way. Four crewmen would be perfect to raise a proper pirate cheer and form a dangerous landing party. Less than that ans we'll just resemble Disney theme park rejects with all the fearsome reputation of the South Fish Creek Lawn Bowling Association. One final note before I must weigh anchor. The pirate's best weapon is stealth so we must keep that in mind. Many a poor raid were undone by their use of a marching band. While I understand the need for a theme song, I note that there no famous pirates from new Orleans, and that tells me something. So we'll do the same. Park stealthily among the unsuspecting islanders and stay out of the shipping lanes before and after our fleet sets sail. Many of the locals have connections with the Admiralty and we don't need the Navy to susprise us. See ya Wednesday. Yarrrrrrrrrr.

7 comments:

AlanO said...

Yar Jamie. Tis be sure to be pumping like a madman all the way but me needs to know how far

Spirogeek said...

Tis a fair question. The answer be ... I don't be knowin'. Something in the 15-17 kmish range. We be aimin' for 8 and a half nautical miles (16 km). I sailed the parts in me land yacht on Sunday so I know it's close but google is not yielding to my demands for answers.

Karel said...

Tis, 16 on the nose by my reckoning, at least that's what MapMyRide be a sayin'. Yar.

Karel said...

This be close to me hideout. I can bring a prisoner to walk the plank (volunteer).

Andres Perdomo said...

Could you please tell me were is the exact meeting place, as this will be my first time there.
Thanks

Spirogeek said...

Ye Sprinkbank Park for All Seasons which is the big facility right at the corner in Sprinkbank on Springbank Road. Tis an arena as well.

Spirogeek said...

Thanks Karel, that would be great. Otherwise I might have to capture a passing ship and take their crew. And that's hard in me land yacht which has few guns.