Quick results...

As I'm off for a spell in the sunny Okanagan, I thought I'd at least get the results from last night out as well as update the final series 3 results.

I'll tell the tale shortly. Watch for an update later on our special event coming up in September.

And now the end is near.....

And so we face the final Wednesday.
My friend I'll say it clear
Come to our race it's not out of the way.

We've raced a lot of roads
And travelled many many highways.
And more, much more than this
We did it a variety of ways.

Regrets I've had a few
But then again I always mention
We tried our best, put on some races
And had some fun with few exceptions

And so we come to the end of the Wednesday Night Series for 2011. This Wednesday (super Wednesday) it will all come down to one night, three races, one champion. 6:30 at the Priddis meeting spot (22 and 22X) we'll try and get started early as we've got lots to sort out, scores to settle, and legs to hurt.
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It's a micro stage race. We'll start with a ~2km prologue to get warmed up and set the stage for the night. Short, sweet, and just a little taste of what's to come.

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The big event is the road race where we'll tear around our Millarville course for just one lap (29km) where time is of the essence.

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Finally, we'll cap it all off with the race of truth, a 9km time trial back to the meeting spot where the times will be summed, the champions determined, and the glory will be limitless.

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We'll use a sum of the times from the three events to crown the champion and for the overall, there will be bonus points awarded (3-2-1) for each of the events. Time to play for all the marbles.
I'll need at least a couple of volunteers for this as we're going to try and get a pile of racing done in a relatively short evening. The weather looks spectacular as usual so it should make for an amazing evening.

Up to date with the update....

Well, A few things to catch up on...Firstly, we've reviewed the finish line tape from the crit and congrats to the winners in each category. Cody won A with Carlos and Karel on the virtual podium. Cat B was Callum taking it from Clarence and Ron (Callum's looking A'ish these days). C was A battle of the veterans as Lewis took it over Willy and Brad. Thanks to Tom and ST for putting it on.
The following week, our record attempt at the Woodland course was derailed by the three horsemen of racing in Alberta. Road Construction, weather, and low turnout. Thanks to everybody that did make it, sorry we couldn't run something fun.
Lastly, I've updated the series 3 standing and I'll have something out about our finale later today. We're going to do ye olde mini stage race out of the Priddis meeting spot again.

...Your Mission...

...should you choose to accept it, is to rock the world this Wednesday. We're talking about a land speed record attempt. Or more specifically the complete obliteration of the year old course records on our venerable Woodlands TT course. Full on TT gear approved, all the free speed you can buy. Hey shave your arms, shave your head, shave evererything, saran wrap yourself if you think that'll work, I won't judge. What I will do is time the thing. Our targets are Mr Jared Green (Cat A) at 22:00, Sir Tom Kenney (Cat B) at 23:38, and the dastardly (and fast Cat C) The Right Honourable Brad Barron at 25:48. Hoo rah. I could use of course a volunteer or two and I'll try to reward everyone with sunshine and calm winds. Like Mike said, 6:30, Woodland course, this Wednesday, anything goes. Well, almost anything, leave the Gruber assists at home.

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Who is captain of the ship this week?

I don't know if Jami is back but if he is not I will host the Wednesday night special on the Woodland TT course. Below is the blurb from our kick-off race of the season. Try to take a minute off your May time!

This week is a 16km ITT on the NW Woodland course (Highway 1A and Woodland Road). The first rider will start at 6:30 PM. This will be a full aero TT. Feel free to use your TT/Tri bike, aero wheels & helmets, skin suits, shoe covers and any non-UCI compliant bike components. The course is mainly flat with a couple of rollers near the end to keep you interested and a brief downhill in the middle. I can use a few volunteers to help with this race.


Some parking is available at Woodland Road. Parking is also available at Bearspaw road and at the Lions Club (Farmers Market) on Nagway Road.

Tomorrow night's WNS.

This Wednesdays race is a long crit course. The 2.5km course is fabulous and should be fast and fun.

Start time is 6:30.

Cat A 25 minutes +2 laps

Cat B 20 minutes plus 2 laps

Cat C 20 minutes plus 1 lap

Rev 'em up!

It's time to give a little. I need more volunteers due to my lack of experience and early onset dimentia (I forget peoples names the instant they are told to me). Someone to help at the finish line and more people on the corners. Steve will be there early to sweep corners and could use a hand. I'll get there around 6:30 for a 6:45 start time.

Tom

Setting the Standard...

...and showing the whipper snappers a thing or two. Well, we dodged the worst of the storm and were victim of only a decent rain shower on Wednesday night for our 20km age graded time trial spectacular. In a twist that we telegraphed about as well as a Shamalyman justedplot twist, wenot only age graded the results utilizing British cyclings vetrans tables but we made allowancefor those brave souls Merckxing it as well as the double Xers. And we always knewBruce Willis was dead all along and that the village was just a rural throwback sociologicalexperiment. On the other hand, who knew that aliens disliked water so much. If they show up, I'm headed to Vancouver.
Anyway, for the most part, raw speed ruled the day but the age grading of which I applied a slightly less gernerous advantage (due to the vigour and hardiness of us Canadians). In the end, it was Rob Schuhart pulling out the age adjusted win over the big man, Paul Rosenberg who blistered the course in a non adjusted 29 flat. Cody Godlonton took third overall and was just 9 seconds behind Paul on the road at the end of the day. Big thanks to the volunteers who braved the rain to help out, including Peter Heinemeyer (again), Callum Galbraith and Tom Kenney who wore a skinsuit to help out and looked fast standing still. I have included the adjusted results as well as a table of the adjustments to see how it changed things. Oddly more than half of the riders were within 2 years of eachother so for the most part the road times held. I'll investigate more before we do it again next year but food for thought. You're all fast in my books.

....police box spotted in Calgary, strange things a foot...

...Have you ever wanted to travel in time? Battle daleks? Visit the end of the universe? Find out where the dolphins went? Watch the daleks battle the dolphins?
Well, here's your chance. I'm looking for a few good time travellers to race man's oldest enemy...time. Maybe second oldest enemy, wolves would have to be first. And snakes, they're right up there too. So if you want to battle time tavelling, wolf riding snakes, then I have the event for you. The 2011 WNS Time Shifter Race Against the Clock. Through long and dedicated scientific research, I've concluded that life appears to peak at 38, and that the ravages to time begin to appear shortly thereafter like a Sontoran invasion. So seeing as nobody I seem to have met is either 909 years old, or has two heads, I'm going to compensate everyone on the descent from that inevitable peak with the most precious gift in the universe.....Time.
So when you register for the race this Wednesday, you'll have to tell me (in complete confidence of course), the number of months you are older or younger than 38. Your time will adjusted accordingly. In addition, the Cs and Bs will get a few precious seconds, as will the double Xers, Merckxers, and gingers. We'll age grade the TT and see exactly who is living up to their potential in a relativistic kind of way.
The race is this Wednesday the 27th at the olde Dunbow Road course. While we haven't used this course in a while, it is a good course to tune up for the upcoming provincial TT as we'll go the full 20km.
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Parking at the start is not a great idea, but as with other races, we encourage riding to the event or there is plenty of parking on the surrounding sideroads, especially along Range Road 294 which is the first right off Dunbow after you pass Deerfoot Trail heading east. The start is a couple of hundred metres farther up by the first road on the left heading east. The course is a simple out and back and as usual, I could use a couple of helpers. We'll get the first riders off shortly after 6:30.
I'll be there early (or have I already been there and back and even know who wins. Congrats ... ) in my Toyota which I assure you is the same size on the inside as it is on the outside and has a very high, almost infinite probability of getting me there.

....just cleared the WADA investigation....

....into the results of last Wednesdays Sprintastic time in Springbank. Clearly Randy's on something, but we couldn't nail him this time. Could be PEDs, could be love of the sport.

Sorry for the delay in results, I left the sheets at work on the weekend, and I didn't quite make it in to grab 'em. The good news is that I got the house pretty much prepped for the renovationsthatneverseemtoend, but the bad nes is that my golf handicap has gone up to 476.

Anyway, it was a really great time out there on Wednesday. The question that I kept getting asked was if i was going to switch directions and go with the wind. What would Jens do? That's all I have to say about that. It's worth the ride into the wind as tactics rules the day more than raw horsepower. It was cool to watch the learning curve that came with experience and fatigue. Quite a few races were won by less than half a wheel, and a couple by a tire. Good thing the photofinish machine was working.

I'll start with the amazing Cs. What can I say other than wow, did they ever give it a try and boy did they learn a few things. Competition was fierce and the final came down to youth vs experience. A how experience did triumph with former pres Randy Szasz schooling Adrian (the youngster) in a close, close final.

The Bs tore it up as well with a mix of watts and experience. Sometimes watts got it done, other times experience and watts got it done. In the end, it was the best combination of both traits that got it done, and Callum got it done over Aaron Prain. The kids are all right.The As were a show of power and experience as the riders tried to sort out how to hang with and hang without eachother. A close finish saw Cody Godlonton bring it home over Brodie Loster in a close final.

All in all a great evening and a neat event. Definitely going on the calendar for next year. Huge props to Ron Fiell for holding again, Rob Lanthier for holding as well, and Peter Heinemeyer for being the starting line general.

Wild Wednesday Redux...

...Just a reminder that this week we're going to give the sprinting another try. Same bat time, same bat channel. Details are in last week's post.

Wheels are spinnin', sky is spinnin'...

...this can't be good. No, not a tale of Stampede excess but rather a tale of excitement, adventure, and a three hour tour. A tale of a fateful trip. What started under sunny skies, a slight breeze, and the best of intentions turned into a pelting storm, local (6km) tornado, and the tiny ship was tossed. Well, the brave and fearless crew got a few runs in of the sprint, but not enough to really calculate results. I tallied the participants and gave them half points for the effort with a little uptick for those winning heats, but not enough to really change the results so I have updated the Standings on the right with the Final Standings for the Second Series of the 2011 WNS.
This mate is a mighty sailing man, and the riders brave and sure, and again well set sail next week, for another three hour tour. In the Queen's english ... The participating riders quite enjoyed the challenge of the event and anticipate a subsequent installment. In American english ... We's gonna do it a'gin, cause the people liked it, and cuz it was all neat and everything. That's right, we'll reload and give it another go next week, same location, same course, same time. I'll fix a couple of the bugs and I think the format needs another go as it appears promising and it's cool to watch. I like that. Over and out little buddy.

WNS Twister

Rode home under this developing twister last night after our partial race. The wierd thing is with the heavy downpour and some hail, the temperature seemed to increase. It was warm and actually felt kind of nice. I got off Lower Springbank Road, rode around the graveyard looking for shelter but there was none. Hope the others who rode home were ok.

Yeeeeehawww...

...is't time for the durn ole Stampede Showdown. A rip roarin', cleat scootin', wheel spinnin' time. Kinda like Chuckwagon races, minus three of the horses, the outriders, and the wagon. Oh, and the horse. There is no Stampede equivalent. The closest you can get would be to get two bulls (or sheep if that's your fancy), tie them to two bikes, and watch em drag race across the arena. The winner goes on, and the loser gets served ... on a bun.


Well, we're gonna be a little more urban than that but you get the drift. Think bull riding meets illegal midnight bike courier racing. Think Kevin Bacon does City Slickers. Think Lance Armstrong getting chased down a gravel road in rural Texas by a crazy wingnut, like Dick Chaney. The format will be elmination sprints. Sprint being a relative term for a race about a halk a kilometer in length. You'll be paired up, crowds silent in anticipation, Cindy Williams will drop a handkerchief, and off you'll go down paradise Road againt Bob Falfa ... wait, wait I've gone all 1138* here. Pretty much holds true though, we'll pair ya up, race ya, and see who goes up the ladder, and who goes down. It's elimination action, plain and simple. I will run a winner and loser bracket and you guys will sprint off for places so I hope to get a few runs each in.


The where is the trick. Given that it's Stampede and they took away my original course so that kids can go swimming (have they no heart), I've had to find a nice unused piece of asphalt. Given the nature of Stampede, I thought of using a library parking lot, city employee parking lot, or one of the runways at the airport which they wouldn't shut down for us. Thanks a lot international travellers. Anyway, I literally looked at a dozen potential locations and for one reason or another, they fell short. the solution appears to have been right under our nose, and more specifically, right in the heart of Springbank. I'm talking the paved roads for the housing development right by the finish of the piratical TT. That is to say, the new development on the south side of Lower Springbank Road between Range Road 32 and 31. I forget the classy name they give to these developments, (something like The Estates of Oak Bluff Manor Creek), but It's pretty obvious. Park at Springbank where we ran the TT (Springbank Park for All Seasons) and warm-up on the way down.



I'd love to get racing around 6:45 but I'll need ya signed in before that so alot enough time to get from the parking to the start (about 4km). If construction buggers up the road we'll use Range Road 32 next door. In any case I'll meet you guys at the housing development where you'll recognize me by my mighty steed (Toyota Matrix). I could use at least three volunteers, one as a starter, and two as holders, so we can start all cool and clipped in and the like. This is a new format, so I'm wingin' it here but I think we can pull something off. See ya then. Yahhoooooo.

*1138 is my internet code for an unnecessary Lucas movie reference.

Woot...woot...

What a fun night. It was a stunner of an evening in the hills, with fairly calm winds, beeeyooooootiful temperature, and nary a cloud in sight. The mountains were pretty spectacular looking to boot. This is probably my favourite race of the year. On to the results...
In the A category, I was thrilled to see Harley back and in form. I almost didn't recognize him as I was expecting some kind of scratched up mess. He looked just fine. Ladies take note. Joining Harley were eight other racers as they tackled the full meal deal course of 51 kilometres of flats and hills. From where I sat, it looked all nice and orderly until the first ascent of Mount 'whatever it's named' where the group started to come apart. From my vantage at the summit it looked like Trev had opened it up and shattered the group. On the way back up the hill he looked like he was in a league of his own. I shall call it Mount Williams in honour of the man who defeated it. At least until next year. The finish was fairly spread out with Trev finishing, making a sandwich, having a bath, doing his taxes, and sequencing a genome before Stuart rumbled in. And for Stuart and third place Brodie, their performance was exceptional. The rest of the crew followed, reasonably humbled after a hard night of racing.

In the B category, mystery surrounded the C4 guys that appeared a little tardy to the start, and from all accounts they had been working on some kind of secret plan. It didn't work. What did work in the end was a little combination of luck and hard riding. Callum Galbraith came back from the split of the main graoup on the climb to claim a tight victory over Andrew Paul, Dan Barker, and Alan Oickle.

In the C category, we had us some fireworks. In lieu of a photo finish, I just blinked my eyes real fast. Upon reviewing the captured images, Shawna Donaldson prevailed over Adres, Lewis, and Willy. Images will not be available for the race jury, you'll have to take my word for it.
All in all, it was a great night, and a big thanks to the cvolunteers that made it all work: Sue and Andy Hill, Ania Bergmann, and Mike Urqhart.

The hills are alive with the sound of ...

...swearing. Well, that and grunting, whining, and whinging. It's that season. The bears have come out of their little hidey holes, the snow has left the city (until Stampede), the Leafs have already been eliminated from the playoffs, and Lindsay Lohan can celebrate six months without an arrest. We're also going to tilt the road upwards a little with our much anticipated Kananaskis Road Race.
This little classic, a favourite from the days of yore, starts where White Avenue in Bragg Creek meets Highway 66 just west of 22. This is on the back way out of Bragg Creek near the Provincial Park and people can park in Bragg Creek, at the school on 22, or at the Provincial Park and enjoy a nice easy warmup out to the meeting spot. Time is the usual 6:30, this Wednesday the 6th.

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While I endeavour to clean up the course where I can and to avoid significant obstacles, there are a couple of sections of this course that require some warning. The first thing to note is that there are three sets of 'Texas Gates' on the roadway in each direction. What are 'Texas Gates' you ask? Somebody somewhere though it would be a grand idea to let cows do what cows do wherever they want in large open areas. We like roads through these large open areas so fences just don't work to keep marauding bovines out of out gardens and china shops. The clever solution (clever being a relative term when you're dealing with Texas) is to lay a bunch of pipes across the roadway with the idea that cattle can't cross. Well they can't, but bikes can. They places a couple of small strips along the direction of travel for things like bikes or snakes or something like that to travel along. We've all ridden over these cursed things and for the most part they provide little obstacle. What I need from the riders is a commitment that you'll ride nice and neutral over them, at a comfortable speed, and you'll wait until everyone is across to open the throttle. Just at the gates, mind you. Open the throttle up the hills all you want, I'll be there to chuckle.
The second thing to note are the hills. While the fun and exciting part is going uphill, all things at some point have to come down. So when the roadway tilts down and you descend, take it easy, spread out, give room and ride safe. While it might look cool to open up a couple of hundred feet on the pack going downhill by the time you the uphill starts again that translates into about four feet.
The final thing to note is the proximity to the special area of the province known as McLean Creek. It's not that kind of 'special', it's the other kind of 'special', the kind with 'special' people. They people have bikes which like yours, have wheels. Many of them might also be armed in a way that Alberto 'El Pistolero' Contador is not. They might however, test cleaner. The course goes through the turnoff area and while we have right of way and all that, just be alert and keep your heads up. We all know what happens when the canoes wreck and the banjos start.
The course is pretty simple. The Cs will ride something like a 38km round trip, turning around at a pullout just up the hill after Elbow Falls. The Bs make the summit and turn around at the pullout there, and the As go to the end of the earth, I mean road and turn around at the entrance to the provincial park. The finish is pretty much back where we started.

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This is a great one to bring a volunteer to as I can certainly think of worse things to do than hang around in the spectacular mountains watching the race. In all, I need at least three to make it go, the plywood guys (I call them 'Texas volunteers') won't cut it this time. See ya then.

Memo from the Governor to the Admiralty...

Despite and entire week of peace in the colony (excepting the whole drunken blacksmith incident), pirates were once again spotted cruising off the coast . These bucaneers zigged and zagged in a confusing pattern that we simply refer to as a Crazy Blackbeard. Several attempts were made to intercept, but they stayed out of range of our 15 pounders and we could not give chase. While the raiders numbered over thirty, little damage has been reported, and the passages were clear of pirates by nightfall. The scullery maid did happen to capture a picture of one of the brigands on ye olde cell phone.

Unfortunately, the pirate used his wiley charms and made off with the scullery maid before I could apprehend him for his show trial. A pity, as I've had the gallows recently waxed and I have perfected my diabolical laugh. More diabolical and less maniacal seemed to do the trick.We did capture a few smaller crew members that only gave up the names of three 'volunteers' under extreme torture. Unfortunately upon closer inspection the crew members turned out to be plywood sandwich board signs and thus, a public execution would be a dissappointing and frankly humiliating event. We are on the lookout for these 'volunteers' and have identified them as Peter Heinemeyer, Ania Bergmann, and a shifty fellow named Brad Barron that we believe was a pirate in disguise. Later that night, my clerk did manage to secure a document with a curious code that we have yet to make sense of. How he came upon this list is a mystery and despite my threats to beat it out of him, that would require far too much effort and I have been resting up for afternoon tea for a while now. Perhaps I shall capture a helper monkey to more adequately do my bidding. The document reads as follows...

As soon as the chaplain sobers us, and assuming he survives his duel with the blacksmith, we will compare the document to certain sacred documents and see if there is any relation to the newly updated list of series 2 points. Well, writing this proven a challenge in this tropical climate so after a lunch of condor eggs and shark eardrums a longish nap is in order. On the next ship please send more gunpowder, a monkey trainer, and a new scullery maid.

Yarrrr....'twas lookin' at me calendar....

...and realized we're just 81 days away from International Talk Like a Pirate Day. And really, when is it not fun to talk like a pirate. Well, aside from funerals, job interviews, and the witness stand. Tis a curse for sure and I'll never be asked to tesitfy again. So you ask, what's up. Why the pirate schtick. Was this lubber once a seafarin' seaman? Was he visited by a mysterious green vaporous klaubautermann (I know you're googling it, remember the second n) while out in his van with his blond pal, a couple of girls, and his semi-literate faithful great dane? Or was it his scouting trip for the race where the recent Springbank housing boom of the noveau riche where giant houses as bland as Tom Bosley have been erected at an astonishing rate. The question then is then ... Ponzi or Pirate? I guess with the oil industry it's a little bit of both.
So I present the 2011 Ponzi Pirate Raiding Party Individual Full on Springbank TT. Real Pirates don't like rules, so there are none, just the Pirate code as it applies to TT racing. Full on TT gear welcome, flags optional but encouraged. Most pirates don't wear a watch, but this one does and we'll start right around 6:30ish.

Our route will take us south from the Springbank Meeting spot to towards the treacherous speed bumps of Mountain River Estates where we'll reverse course and head North back to the safety of the pirate's cove (meeting spot). A quick right on Springbank Road up to the Chicken Ranch where we'll head yet again south on range road 32 towards the end of the world (road). At the circle, come about again and set course for Lower Springbank Road where you'll turn to starboard (right) yet again and make for Range Road 31. One last foray south on 31 where we'll turn around again, deep in the heart of the empire, and flee to safety and the finish north along 31.
Tis a twisty and perilous route (actually it's fairly straight and simple but peril sounds cool and piratical) so I could be using some mateys to help point the way. Four crewmen would be perfect to raise a proper pirate cheer and form a dangerous landing party. Less than that ans we'll just resemble Disney theme park rejects with all the fearsome reputation of the South Fish Creek Lawn Bowling Association. One final note before I must weigh anchor. The pirate's best weapon is stealth so we must keep that in mind. Many a poor raid were undone by their use of a marching band. While I understand the need for a theme song, I note that there no famous pirates from new Orleans, and that tells me something. So we'll do the same. Park stealthily among the unsuspecting islanders and stay out of the shipping lanes before and after our fleet sets sail. Many of the locals have connections with the Admiralty and we don't need the Navy to susprise us. See ya Wednesday. Yarrrrrrrrrr.

Dammit Jim, I'm not a doctor...

...I'm a race organizer. Well, tribbles be damned it was an interesting episode Wednesday night, with highs and lows, tears and celebrations, love and danger. Wait! Love and danger???
The lows, unlike shuttle disasters, Stanley Cup riots, hurricanes, and any Kardashian's career don't need to be endlessly hashed out. Suffice to say that we need to take care of eachother out there, always err on the side of caution, and communicate openly and clearly. The summary is that we had a crash in A that probably shouldn't have happened and someone was injured. Details can be found here with a bit of a discussion going on in the comments section. While the corner on it's own wasn't a big problem, situations can develop that require clear communication, quick decisions, and decisive action. While I can't always have guys on every corner and I'm not sure what an inexperienced volunteer could really have done anyway given the speed with which the situation can develop, it is incumbant on the riders to use their knowledge and perspective to marshal themselves to some degree. The experienced people with the knowledge and history to deal with it aren't usually the corner workers, but the ones on the bikes. While it is a race, there is a time to be racey, a time take it easy, and a time to hammer. If safety is at all issue at any time, then it's time to take it easy and everyone needs to do that together. When you're out there, you're one big team. Watch out for eachother like you'd watch out for your best friends.
While that was the crashy part of the evening there was another small incident that actually reflects some of the same principles discussed earlier here. A rider was dropped when he flatted and rode about 11km back to the cars on a flat front, a herculean feat that took about an hour to accomplish. While flats are a natural part of racing, like gravel, rain, and EPO, we need to know clearly if somebody has a problem out there and we'll deal with it. While we swept the course, there was some confusion as to the outstanding rider and somebody else out for a ride was confused for the guy with the flat. It was assumed that the rider had dropped out and gone home. We never heard about the flat. The flatee was riding about a 6 km/h pace that I can assure you is in no way a natural pace. I just ask that if anyone sees a flat or anything kind of issue that then make sure a volunteer hears about it and we'll check it out. I'd rather hear about it ten times than not. While it is hard to keep track of everbody while you're riding, do watch out for your team mates, and don't hang em out to dry. If you do drop out, make sure you check in with somebody and we'll have an account of you. I was out until almost ten looking for the rider and discovered him with his flat about 500m from the parking lot.
My apologies on behalf of the WNS to both riders for their troubles and I'll try my very best to make sure it doesn't happen again.
Finally, If anybody has comments, criticisms, or suggestions, let me know. While we give the series a good effort, I'm sure we could always be better, and I have pretty thick skin.

Disaster averted, the Enterprise survives ...

... and the red shirts live another day. you know the guys, the crewmembers with red shirts, no last names, and a limited lifespan. They guys that get crushed by rocks, or bitten by Sulu or something like that. Anyway, this is the results post, the Captain's log will follow as the next post.
The A results, as presented by Emmy award winning actor, author and humanitarian Wil Wheaton....
"It looks like the USS Highwood's Lt. Godlonton was caught in a Bici sandwich between Starfleet tranfers Campbell and Walsh. Man, I like sandwiches. Yup, that and D & D."



The B results, as brought to you by the star of critic's choice Reading Rainbow, one heck of a helmsman, and Richard Burton's son, LeVar Burton.
"Recently promoted ensign Bergmann kept the impulse drives floored distancing himself from the pursuing clutches of the wiley Lt. Barker, and ahead of the mavericky and oft misunderstood head of engineering Lt. Galbraith. Hey Wil, I like sandwiches too, wanna grab one at the Pasedena Chili's after this reading?"

"Leave me alone LeVar."



The C results, read in an unnecessarily deep and gravelly voice by star of stage and screen, former countertenor, Michael Dorn.
"Captian Donaldson of the USS Bow was pipped at the line by about a quadrant by the upstart Lt. Lung and ahead of newly arrived Lt. Tsuchida. While your victory was impressive Lung, we'll see how you do in B next time. Hey LeVar, I could sure go for a sandwich, wanna get one?"

"No"


And so we've revealed the disfunction in the TNG cast and touched on some of the fundamental questions of the universe, like how to thank volunteers, Geno Wendland and Peter Heinemeyer, and all those that helped out with the whole fight on the planet crashy thing including Dan Sigouin and his trusty shuttle.
While I try to sound all relaxed, philosophical, and profound as I dictate an essentially meaningless summary of my adventures to basically a cardboard wall, some flashing lights, while looking at a styrofoam planet, I can't help but think of two things... I wonder if I can get the number of the girl that played the third green alien? And are there any sandwiches on the craft table?

...The long awaited AWSMSSCWNSSHBDFRR....

...With pseudosummer now behind us, we thought that it would be good to celebrate the not quite few minutes of good weather we almost did enjoy with a road race on nearly the longest day of this so-called year. Well, I can't argue that it actually a year, what with the sun going around the earth and everything (thanks Ptolemy for your Wikipedia page on that one). While trying to come up with a catchy name for the race I was drawn to the radio and a report on what could possibly be the most important dignitary to visit Calgary since Magellan ... William Shatner.While I didn't join the throngs of single guys out to see the royal thespian, I did feel that we should mark his visit by naming the race after him. So I present the Annual William Shatner Memorial Summer Solstice Crankmasters Wednesday Night Series Slightly Hilly But Doable Fun Road Race or AWSMSSCWNSSHBDFRR for short.
The AWSMSSCWNSSHBDFRR will take off from our Hwy 22, and 22X meeting space which has been chosen due to the proximity to the observatory which serves as the inspiration for the planet Deneva and those devious ameobas. The route is one that we've enjoyed before and was introduced last year by Mark Perry who was trumped in the naming by Sir William Shatner, P.hd (Hon), M.Sc. (Hon), B.Sc. (Hon). We'll race up 22X from the meeting point about a kilometre before turning right on to Range Road 30 and bearing south (Warp Factor 5 or 6ish) for about 10 kilometres. We'll then turn right at the stop sign at Township Road 214 (274 Avenue) and head down the hill for a kilometre or so to 22X where we'll turn right and fire back to the start for another lap.

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We'll agree on the number of 22.5km laps for each category on the night of the race. Rest assured that it should be Goldilocks all the way (not too long, not too short). We'll finish at the uncharted road just past the observatory on the way back to the meeting spot. Of course, I could use a volunteer or two to make it run so stop by your nearest planet of the way and pick up a reasonably competant and adventurous biped who wants to see the universe or at least a small portion of the Municipal District of Foothills No. 31. Please, no blue people, I was once jumped by two Blue Man Group Groupies after a show in Vegas. It was worse than the time that Scott Baio wouldn't leave me alone at a Denny's in Cleveland.

...bowties are cool...

...and so are raincoats. Glad I had one on Wednesday but I'm not sure the riders noticed. They all came in with purplish red leggings. Funny, they didn't start out that way, but hey, perhaps there was a roadside vendor of some sort. Anyway, it was kind of alternating between sunshine (and lollypops) and rainshine (tm). A perfect October day and even the local rancher's were wearing jaunty scarves.
On to the results... Line honours went to Wayde Bymoen, but his tri rig attracted an appropriate modification of his result (based on the Socal TT calculations) and he slid to fourth. He did however impress us with brickisizing the outing and we can forgive him his Triathlete ways. Andrew Paul brought it home followed by Karel and Mike in A, with Callum Galbraith edging Walter and Allan in B. Riding well, Tomo Tsuchida took Willy and David for the points in C.


Props to the volunteers that made it all go. Rob lanthier, Thomas Yip, and Clarence Poon all lent a hand so thanks guys I appreciate it.
I think next week is looking like a Road Race somewhere down south until i can get a good course scouted in the north. We'll use the Mark perry Rectangle that we introduced last year and was well recieved. Details will follow and if anyone else has any really good ideas for a course (road or TT), shoot me an email and I'll giver 'er a scout. Avoid needy Daleks and play safe.

...it's not locusts, just rain...

My comprehensive analysis of the weather radar combined with some forward modelling and and probablistic analysis has determined that it is indeed raining. The fact that the crack dealers across the street from my office are still operational tends to suggest that it either is not raining that hard, or Charlie Sheen is in town. Either way, it looks like it should pass and although a little annoying, rain doesn't tend to inflict much damage, so I will show up tonight and as long as the weather isn't too bad, we'll race. Sorry I can't be more definitive, but I hate cancelling races and want to give it any opportunity to go. And if Charlie Sheen is in town, you're welcome to come and volunteer, but I'm afraid you can't race. Although I understand you are addicted to winning, I have no category for warlocks and the tiger's blood is a definite no-no.

Foot to the Floor...

...Merckx style. There are a few things that money can buy like a Bugatti Veyron, Keanu Reeves bobblehead, Keanu Reeves, and a chinchilla fur coat for your chihuahua. Among the things you can't buy are a Condor egg omlette, NASA, a dictionary autographed by any member of the Bush family, and faster legs. Well while the last one is not exactly true (see Floyd Landis), one thing that money can buy is a faster gear. Commonly referred to as 'free speed' (not sure why something 'free' costs several thousand dollars) all these techie gizmos can tilt the playing field. To remedy this, we'll go at it like Eddy intended. Raw and unadulterated, or as we call it in cycling, Merckx style. No aero bars, no aero wheels, no aero helmets, no little aero booties, nothing, nada, zip, zilch. Just you and your traditional road rig.
The where is the Woodland course, the home to TT racing in the greater Bearspaw region.

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Wednesday, June 15th, and we'll try to get the first riders off sometime shortly after 6:30. The usual two notes apply in that we ask that if you can, spread the parking out and ride to the start so that we don't look like a Justin Bieber fanclub, and I need a couple of volunteers. And yes, they can be members of a Justin Bieber fanclub. The course is the usual slog into the wind and the rocket ride downwind. Ease the main, trim the jib, heave to starboard, full speed ahead Captain Hazelwood.

Team Road Race Results

We had a very good turnout of 40 riders for the team Road Race. The weather cooperated and we had a great evening of racing. This was on a new course with very challenging terrain but I think everyone enjoyed the route.

Orange Team: First Place
Green Team: Second Place
Yellow Team: Third Place
Pink Team: Fourth Place
All riders in the teams will receive finishing points.

Thanks to Rick and Peter for helping out with the race.

I will be handing the organization of the next set of races off to Jamie.

Tonight's race is on (June 8)

It like the weather has improved a bit. We will try to run the race tonight.

Status of Tonight's race

We will make the call this afternoon around 4PM.

The current conditions don't look good but this evening's forecast is looking a bit better. It is difficult to decide right now but I will make the call early enough so you know before heading to the race.

If someone is in in the area of the race late this afternoon please post the current weather conditions or email me at mperry.c4@gmail.com .

Thanks,
Mark

Week 5: Team Road Race (39km)

We are going to extend the first set of five races and try to run the Team Road Race that was cancelled a couple of weeks ago.

For week five we will return to the Priddis meeting spot at the corner of Highways 22 and 22X. This is the same place we met for the road race. The course will be quite different, we will start on highway 22x (Spruce Meadows Trail) and ride East to 37th Street (Highway 773) and turn South. At Township road 221 (still Highway 773) turn right. Continue West on Township road 221 until it bends left and turns into Rand Road 21A. Stay on this road for several bends and it will turn to Township road 214. When you reach highway 22 turn right and head north for approximately 7km to the finish line at the observatory just before the parking lot.

The race format will be the ever popular team race. In this, we divide the riders into a fairly evenly mixed few teams and assign them the task of getting the bulk of their team over the line before the other teams. In other words, it's not which team can get one rider over first but rather who can get the rest of their riders over before the other teams. We've run these before and they have proven quite popular and a great exercise in working together, communication, and tactics as the teams work amongst themselves and against the other teams. We'll set the number of riders on a team and the number of teams once we get an idea of the total number of riders that we'll have out for the evening. This is a race for everyone, regardless of ability, and a great experience. This is good opportunity for experienced racers to work on their race strategy and novice racers to learn about race strategy.

The race will start at 7:00 PM to allow for additional time to get to the race and we have currently have light until later in the evening. If everyone can register by 6:45 and I'll divide everyone into teams and get the race started at 7.

As always, we can use a few volunteers for this event to help at the corners and at the finish line.

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Results from Millarville

We had almost ideal conditions for racing Wednesday evening down in Millarville. Not much for a tailwind I think, maybe a slight assist. The plan was to lay out a 10 k route, in the end I believe it was about 9.3 k. Several racers averaged above 45 kmh, did we get a 50 kmh average? I think Trev must have been close. Lots of interesting equipment choices out there ranging from full aero to old school. Congratulations to all the Alberta Games 55+ qualifiers, Rick came close to the fastest time of the night and represented the 55+ group very well.

Volunteers were in short supply, Trev was very kind to leave his bike aside till the end and help. Thanks also to Peter Hernemeyer for helping out. As this was the first time using this road for a race your comments would be appreciated, should we use it again, was it too far out of town? Was 10 k too short?

Week 5: 10km ITT Hosted by Speed Theory

Regular WNS Race and Cycling Qualifier for Alberta 55 Plus Games Hosted by Speed Theory

AS A CLARIFICATION WE WILL TRY TO GET THE WNS RACE UNDERWAY AT 6:30, THE ALBERTA 55 PLUS QUALIFIER WILL START AT 7:00. SO IF YOU CAN SHOW UP AND REGISTER BEFORE 6:30 THAT WOULD BE GREAT. YOU MIGHT WANT TO PARK IN MILLARVILLE AND RIDE OUT TO THE START FOR A WARM UP ALTHOUGH THERE IS SOME PARKING AT THE RACE START. THE PREDICTED TIME EVENT IS ONLY FOR THE QUALIFIER AND THE UCI RULES ARE ONLY FOR THE QUALIFIER. THIS WILL BE A REALLY SHORT RACE FOR YOU SO GO HARD FROM THE START. WE NEED SOMEONE TO AVERAGE 45 KMH - IT CAN BE DONE. WE NEED A FEW VOLUNTEERS AS WELL.
As part of the Wednesday Night Series, Speed Theory will host the cycling qualifier for the Alberta 55 Plus Games on Wednesday, June 1st, 2011. The format for both is a 10 km individual time trial or a 10 km predicted time event. Racers from throughout central and southern Alberta will compete for 7 slots for the Alberta 55+ Games to be held in Fairview on July 21 and 22, 2011.

We are finally going to use the awesome Highway 549 starting near the gas plant 10 km west of Millarville, at the intersection of Highway 762. It should be a fast downhill, downwind sprint. Here is a map

The ABA website has links to the event details and rules, here is the qualifier information. More details will be posted closer to the event. We have to be a little more formal for this event, 6:30 PM on site registration, 7:00 PM race start. Racers will depart at 1 minute intervals. This is a sanctioned event so leave your Shiv at home. Your equipment will have to comply with UCI rules. We will make the call for volunteers later but we will need a few for this event.

Goes without saying you have to be at least 55 years of age by December 31, 2011 to enter the qualifier but you can still do the WNS race if you don't meet that standard. I think there's a few Speed Theory and Crankmasters of that vintage, lets see who can dominate!

Tonight's race cancelled (May 25)

We have decided to cancel the race tonight. The conditions are not great for rider and volunteer safety so we will postpone the Team Road Race to another week

Status of Tonight's race

We will make the call on tonight's race late this afternoon. Currently the forecast doesn't look good for holding the race. If someone is in the south late this afternoon please post the current weather conditions or email me at mperry.c4@gmail.com .

Thanks,
Mark

Week 4: Team Road Race (39km)

For week four of the 2011 Wednesday Night Series we will return to the Priddis meeting spot at the corner of Highways 22 and 22X. This is the same place we met two weeks ago for the road race. The course will be quite different, we will start on highway 22x (Spruce Meadows Trail) and ride East to 37th Street (Highway 773) and turn South. At Township road 221 (still Highway 773) turn right. Continue West on Township road 221 until it bends left and turns into Rand Road 21A. Stay on this road for several bends and it will turn to Township road 214. When you reach highway 22 turn right and head north for approximately 7km to the finish line at the observatory just before the parking lot.

The race format will be the ever popular team race. In this, we divide the riders into a fairly evenly mixed few teams and assign them the task of getting the bulk of their team over the line before the other teams. In other words, it's not which team can get one rider over first but rather who can get the rest of their riders over before the other teams. We've run these before and they have proven quite popular and a great exercise in working together, communication, and tactics as the teams work amongst themselves and against the other teams. We'll set the number of riders on a team and the number of teams once we get an idea of the total number of riders that we'll have out for the evening. This is a race for everyone, regardless of ability, and a great experience. This is good opportunity for experienced racers to work on their race strategy and novice racers to learn about race strategy.

If everyone can register by 6:30. I'll split everyone into teams and we should be able to start the race around 6:40.

As always, we can use a few volunteers for this event to help at the corners and at the finish line.

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Week 3 Team TT results

The hurricane force winds stayed away this past Wednesday for the Springbank 2up Team TT. 36 riders were paired up into teams of two. They attempted to ride the challenging 16km Springbank course together.

Thank you to the volunteers Callum, Mike, Lewis, Caesar and Andreas who made the course safer for the racers and easier to navigate.

Week 3: 2up Team Time Trial (Full Aero)

Week three of the Crankmasters' WNS race series takes up to Spingbank on the west side of the city. Select a partner to race with or one will be assigned (from the same category). If you want to race with someone in a different category you will be racing in the higher category.

We will stage in the parking lot at Springbank Community High School/Arena at 32226 Springbank Road. The first pair will start at 6:30

View Springbank Meeting Spot in a larger map

The course starts eastbound on Springbank Road heading back towards Calgary. A right turn not that far along onto Range Road 32 takes you due South all the way past Lower Springbank Road to a big turnaround at the end of the road as you approach the river. Back up Range Road 32 to Springbank Road and a right turn taking you east again towards Calgary. You then turn right on Horizon View Road to Lower Springbank Road where you turn right and head out west along Lower Springbank. Finally, a turn north on to Range Road 32 again and the finish along 32 a short time later.
The course should be self-explanatory, if we have at least four to five volunteers for the corners.

Record Turnout for first WNS Road Race of the season

The first 20C plus day in Calgary brought out 65 riders for the first road race of the season.

Unfortunately we had one rider crash. The injured rider driven home by race volunteers later checked out at hospital and expects to resume riding within a few days. Due to the crash in the B group this race was neutralized since some riders stopped to assist. All riders who were behind the crash will receive the same finish time and order.

It was very difficult keeping track of the finish order since there were so many riders and people from a couple of groups were mixed together. If this attendance continues we'll have to try something different at the finish line. We seemed to miss the information for a few people at the finish line. For some reason not everyone was on the start list. If you can fill in any information or find errors in the results please email me at mperry.c4@gmail.com

Thanks again to the volunteers, without them this race wouldn’t be possible.

WNS Membership Requirements

Please be sure you are a Crankmasters primary or secondary member prior to the next WNS race. Our insurance agreement with the ABA allows us to ONLY put on these types of events if ALL participants are members of the club.
We will be downloading the club membership Tuesday evening. If you are not on the list you will not be allowed to race unless you can provide proof you are a Crankmasters club member.

Thank you,
Calgary Crankmasters Cycling Club Executive

Road Race in the South West

We will be using the Millarville loop for the first road race of the season. This has become a favorite course for many riders due to the light traffic, exceptional scenery and variety of terrain.

The race starts at the parking lot at the intersection of Highways 22x and 22 near Priddis. Racers ride south on Highway 22, West (right) on Highway 549 past Millarville, North (right) on 240 St. W, East (right) on Plummers Road which turns north into 240 St, East (right) on the second part of Plummers Road and ends just before Highway 22.

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Category A and B will be doing two loops of the course (52km). Category C will ride one loop (29km). To be sure everyone finishes in the daylight Group A will start at 6:30, B at 6:35 and C at 6:40.

The course is overall in good condition. Most of the holes in 240 Street have been filled except a few smaller ones on the downhill before Plummers Road.

We will require at least three volunteers for this race. To signup to volunteer click here

Week 1 Results by Category (Updated)

Here are the results by initial category. We will be moving people between categories throughout the race series. If you feel you are in the incorrect category please let me know.

And now the results... (updated-again)

We had close to a record number of people for the first race of the season. The riders were treated to decent weather and challenging winds.
Trev, Thomas and Dennis all from Speed Theory had the fastest times of the night. Karel, Callum and Brian were the fasted Crankmasters.



Please email me at mperry.c4@gmail.com if you find any errors in the results. Thanks to Trev for providing a couple of missing finishing times. I will be breaking down the results into A, B and C groups in the next couple of days.

Thank you to Glenn and Clarence for volunteering this evening.

Next week will be a road race starting at the Priddis Meeting Place (Highway 22 and 22x) SW of Calgary. Several volunteers will be required for this event.

Ready, set, go....Race Wednesday May 4

We will kick of this year's Wednesday Night Series with a 16km ITT on the NW Woodland course (Highway 1A and Woodland Road). The first rider will start at 6:30 PM. This will be a full aero TT. Feel free to use your TT/Tri bike, aero wheels & helmets, skin suits, shoe covers and any non-UIC compliant bike components. The course is mainly flat with a couple of rollers near the end to keep you interested and a brief downhill in the middle. I can use a few volunteers to help with this race.

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Some parking is available at Woodland Road. Parking is also available at Bearspaw road and at the Lions Club (Farmers Market) on Nagway Road.

The plan for the next few weeks is:
May 11 RR @ Priddis
May 18 2up TT @ Springbank
May 25 Team or Handicap RR (Red Deer Lakes School-Millarville loop or highway 66)
June 1 ITT @ Millarville (Speed Theory Hosted, also a AB 55+ Games Qualifier)

Like all good things ...

... and Charlie Sheen, we're back. As I sit here, cuddling my snow shovel and wimpering slightly, I can only think of bike racing and the theoretical idea that the snow may melt, the lakes may thaw, and birds will stop freezing to death on the bare branches of the leafless trees. First off, we liked how it worked last year, the feedback was positive, and we're not going to change a thing. Well, a few small things but the basics will remain the same. The whole effort will span 15 weeks with a repeat of the three 5 week series format of last year. Courses will vary as will the individual race formats and we'll try to keep it lively and interesting. Mark Perry is going to handle the first of the five week series as I'll be off on a pilgramage to Camden Yards in Baltimore and Yankee Stadium in the Bronx. We are going to hold a quick introductory meeting for those new to the series or who are thinking about joining the fun next Wednesday the 20th at 8:30 at Speed Theory following one of Trevs killer spin sessions (tm).


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The series will start on May the 4th with details to follow.